Practicing and developing mindfulness allows us to build on our self-awareness. When we are mindful, we can recognize the emotions we are feeling, the thoughts we are having and the headspace in which we are operating. When we are mindful, we notice patterns of what triggers us to feel stress or anger and we notice our tendencies and reactions. When we spend time becoming more self-aware, we can build stronger relationships with others, and a healthier relationship with ourselves.
Can you recognize when you move from a state of relaxed to stress? The difference between when your parasympathetic nervous system is in charge vs. when your sympathetic nervous system takes over. Our parasympathetic nervous system is where we like to live, in a state of calm and peace. Our sympathetic nervous system takes over when our brains signal that we are in danger or at risk. This is also known as moving into a fight of flight response.
This past weekend I had a very scary incident take place with one of my children. I was at the park with my 3-year-old and 5-year-old when suddenly, it seemed as though my 5-year-old was in danger. The details are less important here as it does not matter what took place, what matters is now my brain interpreted the fact that one of my children was in grave danger.
For hours after the incident my heart was racing, I was shaky, and my thoughts were ruminating on the various ways in which the incident could have played out and my daughter could have been gone.
When I finally got my kids to sleep and was able to see and pay attention to the reactions that I was having, I realized that I was in fact in shock and was needing to regulate myself. There are many ways to do this, and different things work for different people. For me, getting in a hot shower, folding my arms up across my chest and patting my chest while using words to remind myself that we are safe, and the world is safe was what was needed. You see, having this scare, not only triggered my amygdala to put myself into fight or flight to “save my children”, but it also reinforced a narrative from my childhood that the world is not a safe place. Using somatic (tapping chest), affirmations and the warmth of the shower
Understanding ourselves and our reactions is the first step in helping ourselves work through difficulties. Recognizing the reaction is the first step. Only after we recognize what is happening within us can we take the steps to help ourselves move through the difficulty.
One way to help develop more present moment awareness is through meditation. If you are in need of a guided meditation you can head to my downloads section of my page, or click HERE to listen to the vipassana practice I wrote.
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