The Midi Mama

I lived a lot of my life as a very anxious human. I still do lean towards to more anxious end of the scale, but I have come a long way in my life.

When I was young everything new was hard for me. I was afraid of everything. Being in an unfamiliar environment scared me so much that I would opt to just stay in my regular day to day routine if given the option. Unfortunately, that was not an option for me, society kind of makes you go to kindergarten and my parents were real go-getters when it came to their kids being involved in sports and activities. So, whether I wanted to or not, I was going to have to learn to step outside of my comfort zone.

Making friends helped to ease into activates and the transition of grades in school. But, there were times when I had to conquer newness all alone. These were very challenging times for me and because I was not equipped with the internal tools to navigate difficulties, I started to problem-solve in counterproductive ways.

I will never forget my sixth grade year in school. We arrived at school on the first day to find out what class we were in and I had been separated from my best friend for the first time EVER in our schooling. I remember barely making it through the day, getting home hiding under my bed and staying there until my mom found me. I was devastated. My parents were very empathetic, but they supported the decision of the teachers and did not argue with the decision. I was to finish the year ALONE.

In looking back on my life, I attribute this moment to be pretty monumental. Who knows how it would have played out if I had had my bestie with me, but how it did play out was not great. I was not equipped for this. It was a very difficult year. The academics were hard, the hormones were intense, I got BRACES and was teased horribly often. At some point in the year, I realized that if I was not the target of the bullying that day, if it was someone else’s turn to be teased, I was safe. This led to me joining in on teasing other people because if I could stay on the right side of things, then I would be okay.

Looking back on this time, I had very low self-esteem and zero self-compassion. I now know that the people who were teasing me were also distracting from their own insecurities. Perhaps if I had had the confidence to be unbothered by other people’s opinions of me I could have remained true to who I was at heart. Instead I had to morph into a version of myself that had an exterior made of titanium. I tried to become a girl “you did not want to mess with”. I did not realize that any power I was gaining through instilling fear in others, was reinforcing the danger I was running from.

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I was raised in a way that reinforced power through superiority. I want to raise people who gain power through compassion and kindness for themselves and others. I believe that a good first step towards building these traits is a positive mindset. Studies show that our brains are trained to scan life for the negative. This was a great tool when we use to find ourselves in danger from the elements and animals that we would run into on our voyages and day to day living, but now, this does not serve us well (in many cases).

The good news is, we can train our brains. Having a regular gratitude practice or a practice of thinking positively trains our brain to scan life for the good rather than the bad. When we cultivate an optimistic attitude our life gets easier and happier.

Check out my free download to use at home with your tweens/teens to help them start thinking positively and mindfully.